What does a pitch have that might get you noticed? Most (or even all) of the following:
- Genre info.
- Date info.
- World info.
- Character info.
- Conflict info.
- Resolution info.
- Who I am.
- Why I should write this book.
Bad pitch: “I’m writing a novel and it’s about this girl? Who falls in love? And the guy hates her, you know? And they have lots of sex and they get together. It’s based on my life and I like sex a lot.”
Oh. My. God. NO!!!!!!
Better Pitch (but worthy of being improved): “I have an alternate reality novel based on the life of Catherine the Great, where Rasputin is a mage and the soldiers in her army are mages and the Kirghizs are dragons. In order to defend her reign from the dragons who try to ravish the Volga colonies, Catherine has to learn the magic lost by her husband’s grandfather, Peter the Great.” (Small quiet smile) “I’m a historian and so it’s the perfect book for me to write.”
This has all the elements but it’s a bit wordy. May not be easy to say, especially if you are in a state of panic.
Alternatively: I have an alternate reality novel based on the life of Catherine the Great, where Rasputin is a mage and the Kirghizs, Catherine’s enemies, are dragons. In order to defend her reign from the dragons who try to ravish the colonies, Catherine has to learn the magic lost by her husband’s grandfather, Peter the Great.” (Small quiet smile) “I’m a historian and so it’s the perfect book for me to write.”
I like this one, because it is simplified.
Okay let’s break down the first one: “I have an alternate reality novel (genre and marketing info, world info) based on the life of Catherine the Great (date info, character info, timeline) where Rasputin (more character info and you sound so intelligent) is a mage (more genre info. Hey! It’s a fantasy!) and the soldiers in her army are mages (more genre info and a bit about you as you must be a historian) and the Kirghizs are dragons. (You clearly know history and clearly have something to offer her! And…Dragons!) In order to defend her reign from the dragons who try to ravish the Volga colonies, (conflict info {see what I said above – alternate reality book}) Catherine has to learn the magic lost by her husband’s grandfather, Peter the Great (resolution info).” (Here you give a small quiet smile) “I’m a historian and so it’s the perfect book for me to write.” (This is who you are, and baby, you are in!)
The alternate pitch is okay, maybe better as you can say it quicker, and are less likely to forget parts.
Okay – lets say the agent / editor represents / edits historical romance with a paranormal and fantasy preference. Pitch for the same book but you will rewrite the novel with a romance angle if she is interested:
“I have an alternate reality romance novel based on the life of Catherine the Great, where Rasputin is a powerful, young, good looking, gypsy mage and the soldiers in Catherine’s army are minor mages. The Kirghizs are dragons and Catherine’s enemies. In order to defend her reign from the dragons who try to ravish the Volga colonies, Catherine has to learn the magic lost by her husband’s grandfather, Peter the Great. Who can help her but Rasputin? And how does she withstand his allure?” (Small quiet smile) “I’m a historian and so it’s the perfect book for me to write.”
Romance pitch to a romance editor, for a book you will rewrite REALLY fast!
“I have a romance novel based on the life of Catherine the Great, where the soldiers in Catherine’s army are being swayed by a German spy. The Kirghizs are ravishing the Volga colonies, and who can help her defeat them but Rasputin who is secretly a Kirghiz, and who has fallen in love with her.” (Small quiet smile) “I’m a historian and so it’s the perfect book for me to write.”
So you are not a historian and you haven’t written a book about C the Great. Send me your blurb, and below it your blurb broken down in to the things you offer (character info date, timeline, etc.) I’ll see if I can help you make it stronger and cleaner and more of a sale.